Snip has joined
9:58 PM sarah: hiiiii
me: WTF IS THIS VIDEO
sarah: Scary
9:59 PM me: First of all
you are not allowed
to try and be sexy
me: when you are photographed
on a near-daily basis
10:00 PM with Cheeto stains
on your crackhead weave.
10:01 PM Snip: "You like the boobs?!"
me: thank god its only acceptable to do that with boobs. I'm so glad no one does that with vaginas.
10:02 PM
sarah: Maybe he beat some sense into her and that's why she left
WOW
I'll stop now
me: Whoa he is smoking?
WOW
Snip: He is messed up
me: OH MY GOD HOW BOUT THE "STOP TALKING" SITUATION
Snip: Like, on drugs.
10:03 PM me: But my thing is:
...he looks to robust to actually be on anything.
sarah: Oooomg
Snip: I love their analogies tho
sarah: SHUT UP
They really do have the best analogies.
Snip: "It's like asking a sailor to fly a plane"
"Or trying to treat herpes with suntan lotion"
me: Michael Bolton?
Knucka really is 45.
10:04 PM sarah: Annd she KEEPS going back to him
arrrrrrg
Snip: Um yes, she pretty much has been abused
10:05 PM and MTV pays him the big bucks to do so, which is sick.
(says a person who watches it...guilty!)
me: Ronnie Magro. Wearing a Kill your TV shirt.
10:06 PM On Jersey Shore
sarah: I LOVE that shirt!
me: I think he just created the paradox that will end the world.
sarah: It's sad that they don't understand irony.
Ok, how long til he's hooking up with someone else?
Snip: About 16 minutes into the episode.
10:07 PM me: I love you Pauly
sarah: I give 20?
me: Nothing is heavy in Pauly D's world.
Snip: Okay this real world commercial
sarah: I love Pauly D.
Snip: The girl says, "I don't ride cars; I ride boys"
10:08 PM You don't ride a car, moron
You drive one
or ride IN one
me: HAHAHAHAHA
10:09 PM Snip: this is what happens when stupid reality show people try to have catch phrases
(see: Situation)
I blame Tim Gunn
me: I blame Tim Gunn for a lot of things
Snip: I still love him
10:10 PM me: he lost my respect when he became the face of Spanx
sarah: I've never seen the show with Tim Gunn
I am a sucky girl...
Hey, some of us need spanx.
We're not all skinny pants like you.
10:11 PM me: That sentence was priceless
"So we decide Yo, lets throw cake in Vinny's hair"
sarah: I love that they call themselves meatballs.
me: I believe you. I believe that was a carefully
deliberated decision.
sarah: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
10:12 PM Snip: Annnd he breaks the balloon....
sarah: You could put all their brains together and it wouldn't equal Neanderthal man...
Snip: Eeew poop!
sarah: I wish they had decided yo, let's put cake in Pauly D's hair!
Snip: Ohh she hid!
Nice move.
me: It would never come out?
sarah: I KNOW
10:13 PM It would be amazing.
me: WOW nice visible thong after 2001 Deena.
sarah: you sound surprised
Oh HEYYYY
You don't mess with the sleepy time toy!!
10:14 PM See, this is sad.
Snip: I have blankies
I would also be very upset
10:15 PM me: he looks like hes about to belch
sarah:I have a stuffed puppy I would also be very upset.
sarah:I have a stuffed puppy I would also be very upset.
me: They did exactly that to my Kermit in college.
Snip: aww
10:16 PM do you still have Kermit?
Man, mike keeps ruining guy code
10:17 PM me: I don't. He disintegrated into his polyester core.
10:18 PM me: You know,
Taco Bell,
its fucking bad enough you make a burrito with Fritos in it
me: Spelling with 3's is just insult to injury
10:19 PM me: I had one of my Boss' BK french fries and it tasted like a sock that had been in the freezer since 1979.
10:20 PM sarah: Yeah
Their food leaves weird residue taste in my mouth.
Aaand that's what she said...
10:21 PM me: BAAAAH
EEW
WTF MTV
sarah: Soooooooo nasty
me: WTF WTF WTF WHHHHHYYY????
sarah: That was a proud moment.
10:22 PM me: That's pretty epic...
I'd appreciate it more if I wasnt trying to set my eyeballs on fire now.
sarah: It's fairly standard Sarah.
10:23 PM Snip: Has Jwoww had lipo?
sarah: Hmm.
Maybe?
10:24 PM C-section???
Oh vom.
They're all so over it.
Snip: Oh man.
me: Chocolate is always the answer to spousal abuse you guys!
10:25 PM sarah: Totes!
Snip: IF it comes with a teddy bear and roses.
sarah: It's a process to be a Situation.
10:26 PM THAT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!
me: LMAO
Snip: He gets his eyebroes waxed.
That was a typo, but I stand by it.
"Eyebroes" = bros with waxed brows.
me: I bet homey has some SPECTACULARLY groomed nuts.
I bet his nuts could walk Westminster.
sarah: I will bet you anything they all wax their chests also
Snip: Ew.
sarah: HAHAHAHAHAHAH
10:27 PM Awesome. Regan and I are on the same scary page again.
10:29 PM me: I feel like i may have jumped ten pages ahead of you but yeah.
sarah: Nuts was next.You beat me to it.
10:30 PM me: NU JOISY
I never noticed that before.
sarah: Are they really all this freaking stupid?
me: ...Yes?
sarah: Oh yeah.
I've seen that.
It's ridic, as the kids say.
me: Pls tell me you guys saw the jersey shore rpg on collegehumor.com
10:31 PM sarah: Uh-huh.
Jenni and Sam are besties now.
10:32 PM me: "Snooki faints"
So cute.
10:33 PM sarah: Yay analogy!
Every time there's an awesome analogy, do a shot.
10:34 PM It is very telling that jersey shore is also brought to you by Taco Bell.
Can I just geek out for a minute about this movie?
It looks amazing...
10:35 PM ...and if it sucks, I will be sooooo sad.
me: Wait what movie I missed it????
sarah: Suckerpunch
10:36 PM me: Oh yeah, Zack Snyder owes me for Watchmen.
sarah: Watchmen wasn't that bad.
"Fresh to death"
awesome!
10:37 PM me: Is he carrying the drawers with a fork?
sarah: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Amazing.
Snip: They are blurring the panties,
SO. gross.
sarah: They must be naaaaaaasty
me: ..but dude
this show...
ALWAYS with the dirty, bloody, poopy ass.
10:38 PM sarah: Klassy.
I kinda think they're Deena's
Snip: Good Song!
sarah: "I look like trailer trash"
10:39 PM Welcome to self-awareness.
me: LMAO
OMG never in my life would I sit with a bunch of boys and talk about my constipation.
sarah: HELL no.
me: Granted, I poop like the atomic clock.
10:40 PM Actually, who am I kidding. The atomic bomb.
sarah: what is she wearing?
me: Why do you even still bother asking?
She's wearing whatever she found that was sparkly.
sarah: **sigh**
10:41 PM me: Motherfucker looks like Don Knotts Pauly...
...you good.
Oh man Ron looks like hes been crryyyyyyying.
10:42 PM sarah: Sloppipotamus!
10:43 PM Man, if my roommate ever tried to come in and bug me while I was entertaining guests, I would have to kill her.
I don't understand why it's ok?
me: this movie is more like "Drive Filthy"
sarah: That movie is going to be more atomic clock poop than you could ever produce.
10:45 PM me: LMAO
Snip: Is one of the Olsen twins in this "beastly" movie?
me: I sort of wish the IRS would give Nicolas Cage a break so he would stop making movies.
10:46 PM sarah: I was trying to figure out who those people are.
It's Mary-Kate Olsen.
10:47 PM me: MARIO BROTHER
sarah: Also, NPH is in it, so I will totally see it.
OH SHIT
This is her *boyfriend*
like, they are still together.
10:48 PM Snip: What a great way to meet!
sarah: Hee!
"sloptart"
me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
sarah: oh deena, you are so drunk
10:49 PM Snip: Ewww! Eww! What are those pink discs on the grill?
me: She already has such a Grandma walk.
10:50 PM Right?
Also, whatever that pink disc was..
I don't think its gonna cook on top of another pink disc.
Snip: Haha!
10:51 PM sarah: Jersey Shore is going good with the movie ads tonight.
I really have to say.
Hit that target audience.
10:52 PM I want to do roller derby, but I don't like getting hurt.
me: So, two things about this movie:
Emily Blunt has had so much stuff done to her face
and Frank Langella has a 13 inch peen....
discuss.
10:53 PM sarah: I have no idea who Emily Blunt is, I don't remember ever seeing her in anything
I just always see her name.
also, go Frank Langella
he's also like 80
10:54 PM me: He could still get it in a quick second.
sarah: Hee!
me: Fucking-
why is every woman in every commercial for everything
SO EXCITED
10:55 PM I love my dry shampoo
I do not throw my hat about it.
10:56 PM Of course you will kick the door Mungo, you like to kick shit.
sarah: Dude-
10:57 PM me: Yo what is his tattoo? A Pottery Barn trivet?
Snip: They forgot the pink discs on the grill...
sarah: Why do they all do this
it's so weird...
Snip: I mean, I used to have pizza sometimes, in my younger days on the way home from the bar.
sarah: I think those are still the turkey burgers defrosting from three weeks ago?
Snip: ...but they treat it like a full meal.
10:58 PM sarah: Yeah, seriously-
when i get home drunk, the LAST thing I want to do is cook
and I love to cook.
10:59 PM Snip: He's wearing the white fossil watch
he bought it off Tbags or whatever her name was.
me: I'm still processing Mike dripping pickle on Vinny while hes fucking...
11:00 PM sarah: Ew.
me: Oh, I don't know who that band was
but that is an insult to Zombies.
Snip: The Limousines?
11:01 PM sarah: I'm not familiar...
but yeah, they made zombies cry.
me: and P.S. you cant expect the unexpected from Betsey Johnson she has been making the same dresses for 20 years.
sarah: Oh Bestey Johnson
...also making zombies cry.
me: Right?
sarah: So much.
11:02 PM me: 'Aight ladies, Ronnie's repeating his bleep up, time for me to get it on the blog.
LOVES
sarah: Muah!
11:03 PM See you all next week!
Snip: night
Snip has left
sarah has left
No comments:
Post a Comment