me: woooot
sarah: hello ladies
me: and we have a guest Jessica Bailey for a few mins
9:57 PM Snip: she will come at you like a squirrel monkey, that Bails
9:58 PM me: "with her pinky out winding up like shes goona take out your eye" Bailey
10:02 PM WHOA
sarah: ok
sarah: ok
10:07 PM me: they make her loook so pathetic
Snip: it's deserved
sarah: she's a little sad
Snip: who walks on a treadmill like that? that's under age 65?
me: they are very stuck on these Ikea blankets
10:08 PM sarah: my roommate and I were discussing her boobs last week
me: but that seemed so EDITED to look slow
sarah: if they were real or nor
not
I say NO
me: noooo
Snip: they seem real to me, but I wasn't paying attention
10:09 PM sarah: no way
me: Jessica Bailey is consumed with the extension that got pulled out
10:10 PM sarah: it's kind of awesome, like something your cat might leave you as an "I love you" gift
me: like the herpes that chick will get from being double teamed
10:11 PM Snip: "I'm Ronnie, and I use Xenadrine. (that's code for blow, right?)"
sarah: he's so nasty
if she's lucky she'll only get herpes
we sing the t-shirt time song when we get ready to go
10:12 PM me: although Beef does not have herpes
Snip: I'm glad JWoww is sticking with the tranny hooker look for jersey
sarah: i think it comes naturally
it might be the only natural thing about her, in fact
Snip: haha
me: and Deena looks like a menopausal housewife
sarah: I love her though
ha!
10:13 PM Snip: she DOES
sarah: so, I totally went to Karma this past summer
it was freaking amazing
Snip: it's like, honey, didn't you leave your two high schoolers at home?
10:14 PM sarah: hmm...you're on TV, you have a camera following you around, why would someone follow you
10:15 PM me: Snooki does alot of shit in a bush
Snip: I'll say it now: I'll never three-way kiss you guys just to entertain Pauly D
sarah: I HEART SNOOKI
me: I feel like she has had no precedent in life to know that she likes bushes
but whatever
sarah: dude, no, because Jersey people are insane
10:16 PM my cousin's friend peed behind a truck even though there was a McDonald's across the street
this is a GROWN WOMAN
me: why don't they have cell phones?
sarah: I do not know
Snip: because they would be on them all the time
and that's bad TV
it's the same reason they don't have tvs, etc
sarah: it would more like real housewives of whatever
10:18 PM me: real housewives don't have TV
or motile foreheads
10:19 PM sarah: no, they sure don't
10:20 PM me: I
10:21 PM No
ick
no
sarah: I love that everything is in something with this one
me: like Vinny could get it
sarah: I'm a party in a glass
me: but like
sarah: she's a party in a body
me: bringing mike along is like
sarah: it's so dirty
not good dirty
icktastic dirty
10:22 PM Snip: what is going on with his hair?
he looks like zippy
me: you cant RELIEVE sins, Sam
me: you cant RELIEVE sins, Sam
sarah: oh dear lord, I thought these people couldn't enter holy ground
Snip: haha
10:27 PM me: wow Deena REALLY likes to refer to herself as a walking holiday
Snip: a walking holiday--i wonder which
yom kippur?
presidents' day?
me: I like to refer to myself as "Moseying Kwanzaa"
sarah: secretary's day
10:28 PM I am an arbor day kind of party myself
me: Oh look, there was mike on the treadmill like a 65 year old woman.....
Snip: this is all commercials
Snip: this is all commercials
they need more content; quick, someone punch someone else in the face!
sarah: what's up with the giant banana
Snip: giant. banana.
is it a pillow?
me: well that was a nice banana he got
NICE PRODUCT PLACEMENT REDDI WHIP
10:36 PM sarah: I think it's symbolic of Ronnie's shortcomings
me: that was very philosophical about the peaches
sarah: I think one of the guys might punch her
Snip: Pauly D is like an oracle
sarah: poor Pauly D
10:37 PM Snip: they are keeping up this ruse?
that they "work"
me: literally he has fortunes on his flesh
oh stop with the jobs
you don't know how to do things
sarah: i was just thinking that
10:38 PM Snooki needs a booster seat at all times
me: Vinny is dressed like any of my uncles
Snip: "you don't know how to do things" <---HAHAHA
me: whoa WTF is w Jenni's hairline
she looks like Eddie Munster with a track
10:39 PM Snip: "sometimes, she is miserable and boring
she is a succubus; although I don't know what that word means"
-- Ronnie
10:40 PM sarah: don't all guys like girls who monopolize everything and never let them have fun
did you guys see that there was a study where women's tears turn men off
I think that when I see Sammi cry
me: LMAO
SINGLE WHITE BLAIR WALDORF
10:41 PM I think Sammi's tears are Snooki's lifeblood
sarah: I kind of want to see that
me: I picture her licking them like Cartman
"unnh unnh your tears taste so good"
sarah: that would be awesome
10:42 PM but I think it's Jenni that does the licking
wow, ok, you know what I mean
she got over missing her anniversary really fast
Snip: "walk around, see what we sell. mostly shitty, Guido-themed T shirts"
Snip: "walk around, see what we sell. mostly shitty, Guido-themed T shirts"
"you know the drill"
sarah: are they "working" on commission?
who cares how much they sell
10:45 PM Snip: this T-shirt guy thinks he's WAY too cool
me: of course that is what Snooki is doing when left alone
sarah: kickball...this seems like a bad idea
it's what i do when I'm left alone
me: I mean
...yeah who am I kidding
10:46 PM sarah: they're cartoon characters
Snip: this looks promising
sarah: I think I saw Wyl-E Coyote do this
sarah: how does her hair stay in place on the rides?
sarah: how does her hair stay in place on the rides?
me: arggh
I'm too distracted by Sammi's puss face
Snip: I'm with Vinny.
10:50 PM I would not ride that
sarah: I am alone. I am utterly alone. by the time you read this, I will be gone, having...oh, never mind.
If she did jump no one would care.
me: BOOBS
oh man new date and time!!!! sheisse
10:51 PM sarah: two episodes! woo hoo!
Snip: I think they've just made this episode 20 minutes, and interspersed it with 1000 commercials
sarah: I won't even go on the cyclone let alone those rickety rides
Snip: and we will see the other half on Monday
10:52 PM sarah: that would be nice
me: yeah I am with Snip on this, nothing has happened
sarah: nothing has happened
aside from Snooki pooping in bushes
me: OMG YES I HAVE TO DO BIG SPOT
I HATE ALL COMMERCIALS
10:54 PM whoa is Ludacris in this movie just, like, as a dude?
Snip: this "No Strings Attached" movie sucks
me: yes but LUDA
sarah: it looks horrible
me: BUT LUDA
10:55 PM sarah: yes yes, but Luda
Snip: hooray Himalayan mountain ride!
me: oooo they are not gonna last this season I think
10:56 PM sarah: she's so freaking stupid
me: dang her face is CRISPY
Snip: like when Kramer covered his face in butter
10:57 PM sarah: I always feel like the color on my TV is wrong when I watch this show
me: Nah, its just in Jersey everyone is the color of an old-school Coach bag
me: Nah, its just in Jersey everyone is the color of an old-school Coach bag
