9:24 PM Snip: Hi. no likey the fbook chat
me: me never
Snip: you could appeal to Snooki's philanthropic side
9:25 PM me: she doesn't know what that word means
Snip: like, help the animals of Brooklyn!
her publicist does
me: she will try to give them tequila
| 9 minutes |
9:42 PM me: Johnny Weir came out
its the cover of this week's "Duh" magazine
Snip: har
9:44 PM me: oh Khloe....
...Noey
| 16 minutes |
10:01 PM Snip: oh man
like we need a recap
soooo much has happened
10:02 PM they drinks, they fights, they exchange bodily fluids
me: WHOA
THAT'S a color
even for her
10:03 PM Snip: its like a pebbles impression
and does she still live with her parents?
me: yeah @ least as recently as that NY Times article
10:04 PM damn though
that spray tan is out of hand
she looks like shes wearing copper paint
Snip: nothing adds class to a BMW...
like an ed hardy steering wheel cover
me: Only if it somehow said "Juicy" on the back bumper
10:05 PM side note:
I bought sneakers @ Beacon's
realized they were Christian Audiger
Snip: can't wait until the Tom breakup
me: brought them right the fuck back
Snip: haha
10:06 PM me: oh Vinny
you are a freshman girl with your shower caddy
10:07 PM Its been all over the Blind Items that Ronnie beats Sammi
Snip: oh boy
Sam sucks
I love how you can see the camera guy in the backseat
me: Where do they get this lipstick that is inner-asshole pink???
10:08 PM Snip: eww
10:09 PM me: please *I* can smell the fake tans and I'm 200 miles away
are they gonna go to every item in the house and be like
Snip: Sam does not believe in wearing pants
me: "Remember this thing from 3 months ago?"
10:10 PM well at least her thighs are less...
Angelina's...than Angelinas
10:11 PM why would she Bleep herself??? You are on a TV SHOW together
she knows you are coming
Snip: Jenni is wearing capris
this skins show is crazy looking
me: The British one was really good
10:12 PM I kinda imagine this one wont be
Snip: I just can't stand the commercial wear the one girl is wearing a red minidress and red thigh-high boots
10:13 PM and is like, "going out to study"
like hell you are
studying a bunch of johns on a street corner, maybe
me: OH JASON STATHAM
***cough**
sorry
yes whatever you said
10:15 PM Snip: Ron goes into the bathroom...
...to do a line of blow
10:16 PM me: 1)Jenni...they definitely already have incurable diseases
2) so do you
10:17 PM Snip: black Cadillac
I can so picture what Paulie will look like in 20 years
yeah Ron and Sam are idiots
10:18 PM why wouldn't they want a room to themselves?
maybe the producers made them
me: I am sure. I think Snooki will be an adorable old person
10:20 PM I will say this if you have seen recent pics of Jenni she looks amazing
Snip: her new bf is a trainer
10:21 PM me: and also a magic elf who fixes eyebrow disasters
dude MY ex was a trainer
motherfucker all but had a Taco IV in my ass
10:22 PM I'm Ronnie from Jersey Shore
doing BLOW is what keeps me fit
Snip: that's why I use Xenadrine (stare vacantly into space)
me: (uncomfortably)
10:23 PM Snip: speaking of
me: oh new girl in this commercial
Snip: I need to eat something
me: it would help you to have high school friends if you weren't actually 40
10:24 PM OMG
EEW.
EEW.
FYI
I will never bring a vibrator anywhere for you to use
just so you know
| 8 minutes |
10:32 PM Snip: darn
what about to our condo in florida?
me: I mean you know
10:33 PM when we get to that point in life I think mainly we will just want buffet.
Snip: I guess i'll bring my own
he had sex with butterface!!
10:34 PM me: I dunno I think Deena out butterfaces her
and butterballs
Snip: but she doesn't have the rest going on
10:35 PM me: Snooki looks prettier damp
10:37 PM Snip: That Adam Sandler movie look horrific
10:38 PM me: OMG
OF COURSE Plan B sponsors Jersey Shore
I'm amazed A.I.D.S. doesn't.
I'm amazed A.I.D.S. doesn't.
Snip: yup
10:39 PM me: they really have to tell you it wont terminate an existing pregnancy??
really?
Snip: yes
you do know what country we live in, right?
10:40 PM me: but there is a level of ignorant even WE can't possibly be
...
COWBOY HAT. HA.
Snip: I'm sure there are churches all over the country
saying the pill kills babies
me: oh
yeah
10:41 PM you are probably right
STOP SAYING SITUATION
10:42 PM who goes choch-out first
Snip: Deeeena
10:43 PM me: that was not an accidental kooka sowing
showing
Snip: sowing
haha
10:45 PM American Idol please give up
there is no talent left in america
leave it alone
10:46 PM me: well but JLO is so camera-ready
Snip: and they're trying to pass that scarecrow off as Steven Tyler
sad
10:47 PM me: he looks like a mummified 1996-era Alanis Morrisette
Snip: Reina is on my keyboard
making ot tough to type
10:48 PM me: OHAI
10:49 PM Snip: crunch crunch
10:50 PM me: "what does audacious mean?"
Snip: haha
roid rage Ron activated!!
listenlistenlisten
10:51 PM me: I wonder if they edited out the part where hes like "I willpunchyourfuckingface"
Snip: probably
10:54 PM me: Danny Trejo is what I look like in the morning
10:55 PM Snip: noooo
10:56 PM me: oh Deena is a dirty chihuaua
Snip: Jwoww is on her third outfit
me: and all of them look like she got dressed in 2002
10:57 PM this seems like its just a loop of Snooki saying bitch
Snip: yea
it makes me cringe
me: this whole fight is reeeeeallllly contrived
11:00 PM HA Snooki arrest next week.
Snip: I give the opening episode a C
me: agreed
Snip: highlight: use of the word audacious
11:01 PM me: and the use of "cowboy hat" as vagina euphemisn
Aight, I gotta pack it up in go home
I will see you next week
11:02 PM same (BLEEP) time
same (BLEEP) place
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